M7 Cycling Club

What could possibly go wrong on a train journey?

What have I let myself in for?

Bat and Ball Team Rooms

I am not leaving until I have another cup of tea

Kerry, Doug and Steve left Harbury on Friday morning in Steve’s car for a pre Isle of Wight (IOW) Friday afternoon Hampshire cycle ride. Kerry had undertaken extensive planning of the route which would start with an outward train journey from Portsmouth to Rowlands Castle, and then a gentle meander back to Portsmouth.

We arrived in Old Portsmouth at 13:30, and decided to have sandwiches and tea at the Portsmouth Cathedral Tea Room’s (named after a sea mammal) before catching the train from Portsmouth Harbour station. We arrived at the station in time for the 14:18 train, bought our tickets, and boarded a brand new train complete with purpose built bike racks. We settled down, checked the maps, agreed on the next tea stop, and were in very good spirits. What could go wrong we asked ourselves as the train pulled out of the station?

Strike one; as the train approached Rowland Castle station, the guard announced that passengers needed to alight from carriages 1 to 5 as the platform was rather short. We were in the rear of carriage 8, and frantically retrieved our bikes and set off for the front carriages. Kerry led the way, and having an older bike with drop handles found no problems. The handles bars on Steve’s and Doug’s bikes were of the wider variety, and due to the narrow corridor between the seats they had to push the bikes in a vertical position with just the back wheel on the ground. Kerry alighted the train and remonstrated with the disgruntled guard (apparently we should have known about the short platform), whilst Steve and Doug attempted to negotiate the final concertina section between carriages 6 and 5. Finally on the platform and our composure regained, Kerry set-off turning the wrong way out of the station and after 100 yards was persuaded to do a u-turn. A pretty young lady on a bike, who also travelled on the train, gave us a friendly but pitiful smile as three embarrassed old chaps headed north.

Strike two; we travelled along Woodhouse Lane, Magpie Road, Treadwheel Road and back on Woodhouse Lane. He headed up and over Blendworth Down, where Kerry’s planning (and I hasten to add agreed by Doug) had us crossing under the A3(T). We arrived at Snell’s corner only to find there was no way under, or even over, the death trap. Kerry showed great leadership by proving it possible to dash across 2 lanes of 70mph southbound traffic, pausing in the central reservation, and then across the northbound lanes. Steve and Doug repeated this suicide mission and eventually we all ended up safely in Clanfield.

Strike three; the next checkpoint on route was the famous Bat and Ball on the road to Hambledon. This historic tea room is widely considered to be the birth place of cricket, or the establishment of the rules of cricket to be more precise. As we pulled into the small car park, we were informed by the gardener that tea rooms had closed for the afternoon. Obviously our state of bewilderment and exhaustion gave cause for concern, and we were led to the delightful back garden and with pride the owner served us a fuller pot of tea.

Strike four; suitably refreshed we continued our route heading south, skirting Denmead and joining Sheepwash Lane. We missed our right turn off Newlands Lane, and had to back track a half a mile to follow the Purbrook Heath Road joining the B2177 just near Fort Widley overlooking the Solent. We descended into the delightful Cosham, through the back streets and the foot/cycle bridge over the M27. We went through Hilsea and picked up the costal cycle route near Kendalls Wharf, and made our way around Portsea Island. We had difficultly following the coast and tried to find our way through Milton and Eastney. Somewhere in this maze of houses and flats, Steve decided to show us how to mount the pavement without alighting from his bike. His fall was watched with great interest by 2 teenage girls who fell about in uncontrollable laughter.

Strike five; we were cycling along the front near South Parade Pier, and Steve decided it was time to stop and take in the sea air. Kerry and Doug sat on a promenade bench watching some sea canoeing, when suddenly they heard screams of abuse from the beach. They looked around to see who was the target of these obscenities, and realised in horror it was Steve. Steve’s bay watch activities had been misunderstood (he was definitely impervious), so we made a quick exit before being attacked by the outraged teenage female swimmers.

This eventful M3 ride finished at 18:50 when we arrived at the Deanery, and were greeted by our fine hosts Gill and David. We phoned Pete and Pete who were planning to arrive around 19:00, but instead they had been touring rural Oxfordshire to avoid the A34 closure due to 6 accidents. We retired with Gill and David to the Portsmouth Cathedral Tea Room for après dinner Earl Grey and awaited the two Pete’s who finally arrived at 20:00. Back at the Deanery we enjoyed an excellent meal, lots of chat and laughter, and retired to our beds around 23:00 having finished most of David’s cocoa.

It had been a great start to our IOW adventure, and we thank Gill and David for their wonderful hospitality as ever.

M5 IOW Costal route – pain, pain, pain, but where was the gain?

Ninth Ride; Saturday 13 May
Routemaster; Doug Freeman
Riders: Kerry Burton, Doug Freeman, Steve Darby, Pete Johnson, Pete Bones
Total mileage: 51.23 miles
Average Speed: slow (stationary on some hills)
Fastest Speed: 176 mph (we suspect a technical fault with Doug's onboard wireless computer)

Five cyclists ready to Ryde

Have you checked the silverware?

A Kerry moment.. this is what it is all about

Wait for me!

Ventnor Gold Cups

The keen fit M5 cyclists were up early and ready to face the IOW route devised by Doug. Pete B decided to go off for an early morning stroll and somehow managed to get lost heading for the wrong tower? The previous night, Kerry had been overruled when we decided to go for early start and catch the 8:45 high speed FastCat to Ryde. We said our farewells to Gill and David and cycled the five minutes to Portsmouth Harbour and boarded the FastCat.

The journey was reasonably uneventful, although Pete B did insist on singing “we’ve got a ticket to ride”. Pete J took delight in explaining how the IOW was stuck in the 60’s, and made loud jokes about this in the earshot of other passengers, some of whom we must assume were natives of the IOW. We alighted on Ryde Pier at 9:05 and rode along the wooden pier into Ryde. Kerry’s old fashioned bike had been his saviour on the previous day’s train incident, but it failed him today as the thin tyres were a perfect fit for the gaps between pier planks.

On land we started the IOW round the coast route which had been recommended to Doug as being not as hilly as the inland routes. Doug had calculated that it would be approximately 46 miles to Ventnor, but that was on a flat map and did not take into account any undulations. We set off in a westerly direction to Fishbourne, Wotton Bridge, Whippingham and into East Cowes where we crossed the River Medina on the Cowes Floating Bridge. In Cowes we stopped at 10:25 to find a suitable real, and I mean real, tea room. The establishment we entered looked fine, but much to Kerry’s and Steve’s annoyance it did not have Earl Grey tea, but the cappuccino I can report was excellent.

We were in really good spirits and at the peak of our cycling fitness, as we left Cowes at 11:10 for Gurnard Bay, Porchfield, Newtown and Shalfleet. Even the hills did not seem to bother us, and we arrived at the New Inn Team Rooms in Shalfleet at 12:05 with an impressive 18 miles under our belts. The sun was shining, the tea room gardens very attractive, and the Ventnor Gold herbal tea stunning. We had of course only planned to have one cup each, but by a unanimous vote we ignored Kerry’s warning and we had a second cup of tea.

Refreshed and unaware of what was to follow, we hit the road for Newbridge, Wellow, Thorley and Yarmouth. The route from Yarmouth to Freshwater was delightful, but we could see the rather large hills of the East Afton Downs looming in the distance. From Freshwater we headed to Afton and then Freshwater Bay. The journey above Compton Bay and Brook Bay really tested our strength and resolve, and by the time we headed for Brook and reached our proposed lunch time stop at Hulverstone, we were all in. We had cycled approximately 35 miles, and the hills and the Ventnor Gold had taken their toll.

When we had organized the IOW weekend away, we did not realise that Saturday was cup final day. Steve and Kerry were keen to watch the football, but the Sun Inn coffee house at Hulverstone did not have a TV, so they decided to head on to Brightstone were they were assured of a seat for the match. The two Pete’s and Doug needed rest and food, so ordered three excellent homemade pies, mineral waters, and after lunch snoozed in the garden. They were only 15 miles from Ventnor, and so they assumed the final leg would be a breeze.

The route took us through Mottistone, Brightstone, Yafford, and then to Chale which was dwarfed by the menacing Blackgang Chine and Gore Down. Doug and the two Pete’s (the others were still in the TV room watching the footie) started cycling up the daunting hill with one Pete determined to make it to the top without dismounting. At the roundabout halfway up at Blackgang Chine, Doug and the sensible Pete got off their bikes and walked, whilst an old Bones sweated his way to the top. The final leg of the journey from Niton and the undercliff road to Ventor was exhilarating and mercifully downhill. We arrived at the Windsor Carlton Hotel in Ventnor around 17:30 with over 51 miles under our belts. We were exhausted.

Having checked in, showered, seen the FA cup goals, the two Pete’s and Doug went for a promenade stroll, and stopped at The Spyglass Inn to be entertained by 60s music and fizzy pop. Meanwhile, the two intrepid footie fans were still on the road. They wavered at the bottom of Blackgang Chine and Gore Down, and unsuccessfully tried to blackmail a Chale man of the cloth by threatening to report him to his boss if he did not give them a lift up the hill in his vehicle. That is the trouble with letting football hooligans loose on bikes.

That evening the reunited M5 strolled down to The Spyglass Inn for a well earned meal and their first beer of the day. The Inn was busy, but we secured a table by the bar and next to the young Canadian lady who had been booked just to entertain us on the piano. The food was magnificent, the music delightful, and most of the M5 team in good spirit. Pete J did though remark that he had done pain, pain and more pain, but where was the gain? What do you expect from a grumpy old Yorkshire man?

It had been a perfect day; no rain, little wind, some good spells of sunshine, excellent company, good food and fine refreshments. We returned to the hotel around 10:00, and the five knackered old men were soon in bed counting hills.

M5 IOW Inland Route – a real tea room at last

Tenth Ride; Sunday 13 May
Routemaster; Doug (hills), Pete J (flat bits), Kerry (tea rooms), Pete B (off road), Steve (dolphins)
Riders: Kerry Burton, Doug Freeman, Steve Darby, Pete Johnson, Pete Bones
Total mileage: 25.21 miles
Average Speed: 8.72 mph
Fastest Speed: relaxing

The map must be somewhere

Is there a hill out of Ventnor?

Our alpine lodge

Its your turn to pay Kerry

Pete B left the hotel at 07:30 for his mandatory early morning walk, and he was quickly followed by Doug who wanted to ensure that Peter did not get lost looking for another tower. It was a beautiful start to the day, clear blue skies, no wind, and the two old chaps strolled along the seaside to Bonchurch and were back in time for breakfast at 8:30.

The M5 team was in excellent spirits, and the breakfast was just what five keen cyclists needed; fruit juice, cereal, fresh fruit, full English, toast, tea and coffee. Steve and Kerry even managed to obtain the hotel’s last two Earl Grey tea bags, so nothing could go wrong today. A route planning session was demanded by Pete J, and he devised a route through the middle of the Island with the minimum number of hills and the maximum flat bits. Doug bowed to Pete J’s superior Boy Scout skills, and the rest of the team seemed to be happy with the route of least resistance. Kerry did though demand a real tea room for our morning stop, and after consulting the hotel owner Godshill was selected. We set off from the hotel at 10:00.

If you have visited Ventnor you will be aware that it nestles below the massive St Boniface Down, and a flattish exit from Ventnor even defeated Pete J. Our route to Godshill was via the aptly name zig zag road to Lutherville. Four sensible cyclists were soon walking and chatting up this alpine route, and whether Captain Sensible made it all the way to the top without dismounting only he knows. Just outside Lotherville we turned off onto to the delightful Raw Lane to Worrall. Then there was a choice of routes to Godshill, one flat and by road, one off road and uphill along the Stenbury Trail and past Freemantle Gate. Kerry, Steve and Pete J said there was no decision to be made, but Captain Sensible wanted to go off road. Doug decided to go with Pete B to ensure that he did not get lost.

The off road section was not as tough as Doug had feared, and by the time they reached Godshill, the advanced party were already relaxing in the delightful garden of the aptly named Old World Tea Rooms. It was only 11:00, and we had already consumed a massive breakfast, but strawberries, cream, cakes, teas and coffees were ordered and consumed with no problems. Whilst sitting in the garden we noticed large black clouds to the West, but we were confident that we would stay dry on our northerly route. After a quick ride through Godhsill to wave to the grockles arriving by coach and car, we joined the Stenbury and Yar river trail north, and then the wonderful flat cycleway to Newport.

At Shide, just on the edge of Newport, we negotiated the A3020 for a mile before trying to find the old railway cycle trail to Wotton. After a couple of route finding problems, we were soon on Park Road and Briddlesford Road south of Wotton heading for our lunch time stop at Havenstreet. The White Hart transport cafe at Havenstreet was only serving Sunday lunches, and even we could not justify another meal so soon. We settled instead for some fine Dorset mineral water, and were taken aback when Kerry presented as all with IOW pin badges. What a star.

There was a difference of opinion about the final leg of the route back to Ryde. Pete J declared that he was doing no more hills, which of course was impossible as whatever route we selected there was a significant hill out of Havenstreet. After much discussion and negotiation, a route was selected via Upton, Smallbrook Lane, Bullen Road, and north through Pondwell arriving at the coast to the east of Ryde. Pete J finally agreed to this route when we told him there was only one hill (which of course was a lie) and more importantly there was a rest house on the coast.

After much moaning by Pete J about the number of hills, we finally reached the rest house to find that it no longer sold tea but was instead a Chinese restaurant. We headed into Ryde looking for a suitable alternative, when Steve had his inspired moment of the weekend and suggested we catch the ferry back to Portsmouth and eat at the Cathedral team room. We had just enough time to catch the next FastCat, but Kerry first had to negotiate the wooden pier. Kerry made the end of the pier with seconds to spare, and the M5 waved farewell to the IOW.

We arrived at the Portsmouth Cathedral team room around 14:45 only to read the notice that they finished serving food at 14:30. Not being easily deterred, we sent in our diplomat Kerry to negotiate, and he excelled by securing baguettes with a choice of left over roast meat from the Sunday lunches. As we relaxed enjoying our afternoon tea, we were joined by a member of the cathedral staff who had spotted our bikes outside the team rooms. We returned to the Deanery to retrieve our vehicles, and had another cup of tea. We loaded our bikes onto Steve’s and Pete B’s vehicles, and we said our fond farewells to Gill and David.

An excellent time was had by all. We had no rain, a reasonable amount of sunshine, no punctures, and only one near arrest. Great company, wonderful countryside, good friends, good food and local teas, that is what it is all about.

Doug.